Down in the Dumps

We are down in the dumps; it's time for Meryll to visit her family in Bohol. Her father and grandmother took her this morning. Last night, she lingered in our room longer than normal to kiss Jep and I goodnight. She planted kisses on our faces and she gave us both a long and heartbreaking hug. She even lay down on my chest to listen to my heartbeat. I knew she was sad to leave us behind, she was saying that she's going to miss us and shed a few tears but she understands that she has to visit her family. Jerylle doesn't want her to go home. It's always a sad time when she has to go home.


The house will be empty and bleak without her. No more sounds of her cheerful giggles and tiny movements around the house. Everytime I go home I'd expect to see her in the couch watching cartoons, that’d take time getting used to.


I'd look forward to see her again come May.

A Big Hole in My Heart

"Time heals all wounds." It's one of the oldest clichés. I'd say it's relative and seemingly irrelevant. I don't know if I would ever be completely healed, I would always be scarred for as long as I live, a gnawing pain, like a biting cold in a cloudless clime, stinging my skin, chilling my bones every time I think about our loss.


I still refuse to look at those tiny precious infants in pretty little booties; I can't look at them without feeling a pang of jealousy and stinging pain. I would forever wonder how Juknoy would look like now and what he would be like growing up. Succumbing to the arms of make-believe, a haven that makes us completes. A secret and happy place that only the three of us lives and knows.

Seeing toddlers overwhelm me with different concoction of potent emotions, mostly tipping the scales toward throbbing pain. I looked away and distract myself with pleasant thoughts, thoughts that wouldn't trigger my duct gland to secrete tears.

This month connotes sun fun, clear blue skies, fine sands, beach and pool getaways, it's all summery pleasures! But for me it's like an ice dagger piercing my heart. Tomorrow is Juknoy’s 2nd birthday. This is the most painful time for me. Thoughts of Juknoy swirl in my mind, moments we could’ve shared and memories we could've embraced and reminisce with every now and then. All we were left with were the loudest wailing of heart breaking and the comfort of knowing that he was freed from all humanly sufferings and failures. I know he’s in a place where he was made perfect from his physical imperfections; he’s in a happy place. And as my bestfriend put it nicely,” an angel who went home early,” too early at that.

He bore a big hole in my heart, a hole that will remain empty, and an abyss of sorrow.

Gossip Girl

I'm beat. My back still hurts from the 5-hour final exam on Statistics last Sunday. School days are over. I'm bored out of my skull. Jerylle is out with his teammates for dinner. There are no new pictures to upload, nothing interesting to tinker.

Then my mind wanders on what better things to do online, my enthusiasm drifted to "Gossip Girl."

Gossip Girl it is then, "Carnal Knowledge" and "The Age of Dissonance" are now available for viewing online.

Xoxo

Sniffles

Jerylle is out of town for three days with his colleagues from Convergys. This will be the first time that we won't see each other in more than 24 hours. (sniffle)

I don't want to deprive him the opportunity to be with his friends, he needs to be with other people to nurture his social development. And he doesn't have to do that every chance he got with a wife in tow.

I could have said no and in a heartbeat he'd stay and ignored the trip all together. Despite of my casual brattiness, I'm not selfish. I want him to explore and do things without me. Though I'd been acting up for the past two nights, call it separation anxiety and I kept on crying last night. I just can't begin to imagine the pain my friend Niña has to go through each time his husband leaves.

People may have the impression that I don't allow Jerylle to hang out with his friends or go out with his teammates. Most of the time I pushed him to accept invitations. But he has always been a home buddy, he prefers to stay home and watch cartoons or tinker with the pc.

I just have to keep myself busy with my Statistics' assignment and encoding my brother's thesis and the next thing I know he's home.

Facebook

Good thing I don't use FB that much since it's a daunty task maintaining several social networking accounts. I only keep Friendster and Multiply, which is more than enough.

Facebook

Saturday, February 28, 2009

by: Melanie Lim

THE most popular social networking site on the web boasting 150 million users worldwide became supremely unpopular a few weeks ago after it revised its terms of service to even more repressive terms.

Its terms of service read, “You hereby grant Facebook an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, transferable, fully-paid, worldwide license (with the right to sublicense to (a) use, copy, publish, stream, store, retain, publicly perform or display, transmit, scan, reformat, modify, edit, frame, translate, excerpt, adapt, create derivative works and distribute (through multiple tiers), any User Contest you (i) Post on or in connection with the Facebook Service or the promotion thereof subject only to your privacy settings or (ii) enable a user to Post, including by offering a Share Link on your website and (b) to use your name, likeness and image for any purpose, including commercial or advertising, each of (a) and (b) on or in connection with the Facebook Service or the promotion thereof.

Valentine's 2009 blog

Whew! You have to be out of your mind to accept terms of service like these. Who does Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg think he is? God? And what are we? Morons?

But the lengthy and mind-blowing paragraph above is not what caused the furor in the first place. The lines that follow did: You may remove your User Content from the Site at any time. If you choose to remove your User content, the license granted above will automatically expire, however, you acknowledge that the Company may retain archived copies of your User Content.

The former terms of service had NOT granted Facebook any rights to original content that a user uploaded once the user closed his or her account. Facebook in its revised terms of service owns you FOREVER. That’s what the furor is about.

Yet, despite the mind-boggling paragraphs above that leave us out of breath, Facebook claims they do NOT have ownership over user content. If they don’t have ownership, what do they have? Usufruct?

Wake up. It’s time to get paranoid over what you post. Don’t get too comfy on the “subject only to your privacy settings” phrase. After all, why would Facebook craft their terms of service so well to avoid a lawsuit if Facebook never intends to do anything users would not want them to do?

In the face of a looming revolt, Facebook wisely backed off and reverted to its old Terms of Service. But YOU have not won. The old and revised don’t differ materially in meaning. Zukerberg was right.

Read the Terms of Service again. “...If you choose to remove your User content, the license granted above will automatically expire...” But I thought the license was “perpetual?” I’m getting neither clarity nor comprehension here.

Zukerberg says the company would revert back to its previous version of terms of service that “everybody can understand.” So now he thinks we’re morons?

Well...Zukerberg IS right. We ARE morons. What would you call people willing to sign their minds away—-forever? Wake up.

Xoxo

I can't sleep. So I'm watching the last few episodes of Gossip Girl Season 2.

I'm not a fashion freak but I love Gossip Girl. I love Blaire Waldorf's classy and preppy style, not to mention head-spinning exorbitantly priced wardrobe and accessories. Nobody can pull off those fashionably expensive headband but her.

If you want to watch Gossip Girl's episodes just click
here

Celebrating Friendship

We celebrated Poxy's birthday last night with special friends. We watched a movie, "You change my life"(HAHAHA) at SM Cinema and we had dinner in Chikaan. We then ate her birthday cake at my place.

Tootsi, happy birthday and thank you for the friendship. You've always been a great friend. Someday you'll prince will come...hopefully that would be sooner than we expected.

Forever and a day

Happy Valentines Day, Love

Price to Pay

Five days of relaxation...

during vacation

when we got home..

Getting sick is never a picnic...

Waiting...

There's an internet in the waiting lounge so, I'm checking my multiply and my email while waiting for our flight.

Weee it's my birthday tomorrow!!!


**an afterthought, it was so funny I needed to subject my "hand carry" bag for inspection because of the can in my bag! Haha I always bring Pork& Beans when we travel, mahirap na magutom!!! hahaha

Waiting...

There's an internet in the waiting lounge so, I'm checking my multiply and my email while waiting for our flight.

Weee it's my birthday tomorrow!!!


**an afterthought, it was so funny I needed to subject my "hand carry" bag for inspection because of the can in my bag! Haha I always bring Pork& Beans when we travel, mahirap na magutom!!! hahaha

Birthday Song

Night-shift workers of the world, wake up!

New Study Sheds Light on Working Nights

Exposure to Light, Use of Sunglasses May Help Weary Night-Shift Workers Stay Alert
By Bill Hendrick
WebMD Health News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Dec. 5, 2008 -- Night-shift workers of the world, wake up.

A new study offers tips that might make you more alert on the job and help you sleep better when you're off.

Researchers at Rush University Medical Center found that participants who worked a simulated night shift and who were exposed during the wee hours to bright lights for five 15-minute periods became more alert, not immediately but later.

But it wasn't just the lights that helped them, says Charmane Eastman, PhD, one of the researchers.

People in the "experimental" group -- those exposed to the bright lights -- also were given dark sunglasses to wear on their way home and went straight to bed at 8:30 a.m.

Those in the experimental group slept in dark bedrooms between 8:30 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. after the first two night shifts, 8:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. after the third night shift, and from 3 a.m. to noon on two weekend days off.

People in a control group who also worked simulated night shifts weren't exposed to bright lights, were given dim but not dark sunglasses, and were allowed unrestricted sleep and all the exposure they wanted to outdoor light.

All 24 participants worked from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. with two days off.

Eastman and colleague Mark Smith, a postdoctoral fellow, conducted the study to try to make the participants' body clocks more normal. And they found the bright lights, the dark sunglasses, and enforced sleeping times helped the night workers become more alert and feel less abnormal.

The findings suggest that real shift workers could "set up light boxes where they work or in the break room" and eventually will feel better and sharper, Eastman tells WebMD.

"The sunglasses also are important," she says. "They cut out a lot of blue light, that light in the morning is what keeps real shift workers from adjusting. You go outside, that light tells your body clock it's morning. So the real night shift worker never adjusts. We're tricking the body clock to think night is day and day is night."

Those in the experimental group were told to go to bed at 3 a.m. on their days off, partially resetting their body clocks so that they could sleep and feel somewhat normal in the evening.

Night shift workers also should sleep in "very dark" rooms, even if they think they can get enough shut-eye with light filtering in through windows, she tells WebMD.

Those in the study's experimental group had black plastic placed over windows.

The researchers also measured chemicals in saliva to determine their success in "resetting the body clock" by taking the steps they did with those in the experimental group.

"If you're on the night shift, unplug your phone, put signs on the door not to ring the bell, don't drink a lot of coffee at the end of the shift," she says. "Alcohol in general helps people fall asleep, but it wears off and makes them wake up. Waking up early is the biggest problem."

She says one important finding is that night shift workers (she and Smith defined night shift as 11 p.m. to 7 a.m., which many describe as the "graveyard" shift) should wake up late on their off days, but no earlier than noon.

The scientists conclude that the workers in the experimental group were able to improve performance on computerized tasks over time, while the control group was not.

The study, published in Sleep, says the light therapy, sunglasses, and strict sleep schedules helped night shift workers create a "compromise circadian phase position," which may result in increased performance and alertness during night shifts while still allowing adequate nighttime sleep on off days.

"The major finding of this study was that complete physiological adaptation to a night shift and day sleep schedule does not appear necessary in order to improve night shift alertness and lengthen daytime sleep," Smith says. "Instead, we found that partial physiological adaptation using scheduled exposure to light and darkness is sufficient to bring night shift performance back to daytime levels."

Feliz Compleaños, Niña Bonita

Nin, Happy birthday again!!!!

Sad;(

Our "borrowed" child was borrowed by her family for Christmas break. She was picked up by her father and was brought home to Bohol last Sunday.

Meryll never wanted to go home, she wanted to spend Christmas here, she cried like a young lady on the car (covering her face, just letting her tears fell on her cheeks) enroute to the Pier, not like a bratty child, wailing. I tried explaining to her why she has to go home. Her religion never celebrates the season but she's brought up by our family in a Catholic way. She was looking forward to Christmas but she really has to spend time with her family, they miss her.


We miss her so bad, gone is our "walking tv commercial" and the light and heart of our home. I brush my teeth alone at night now, no goodnight kisses from our little child, no hello kisses and shrieks from her when we get home.

Her birthday will be on the 28th, she was excited for her birthday cake and the celebration but she has to go home. She has Christmas gifts waiting for her to open when she gets back.

No Meryll on Christmas and New Year.

She'll be back soon, but the 3rd of January is way too far.

Sad;(

Our "borrowed" child was borrowed by her family for Christmas break. She was picked up by her father and was brought home to Bohol last Sunday.

Meryll never wanted to go home, she wanted to spend Christmas here, she cried like a young lady on the car (covering her face, just letting her tears fell on her cheeks) enroute to the Pier, not like a bratty child, wailing. I tried explaining to her why she has to go home. Her religion never celebrates the season but she's brought up by our family in a Catholic way. She was looking forward to Christmas but she really has to spend time with her family, they miss her.


We miss her so bad, gone is our "walking tv commercial" and the light and heart of our home. I brush my teeth alone at night now, no goodnight kisses from our little child, no hello kisses and shrieks from her when we get home.

Her birthday will be on the 28th, she was excited for her birthday cake and the celebration but she has to go home. She has Christmas gifts waiting for her to open when she gets back.

No Meryll on Christmas and New Year.

She'll be back soon, but the 3rd of January is way too far.

Santa Clause is Coming to Town

As much as I wanted to skip Christmas this year, the habit of the celebration and gift giving has been deeply buried in my thin bones.

I never thought I would ever get tired of malling but surprisingly I am, I've been inside the malls almost everyday of December looking for gifts.

So here's Christmas, most gifts are wrapped. Ready to hand them away. Can you feel it already?

This year, my theme color is green. I changed my sheets and comforter to green just for Christmas, our Christmas decors and lights are green, bountiful blooms of green.

Have meaningful Christmas everyone!

Season's Greetings

The Most Expensive Gift

When we receive something we deserve that's a blessing, when we are given something that we don't deserve the least that's what you call grace. God gave us the gift of salvation, "Jesus extends grace to all who seek Him." I don't deserve God's love and goodness but He continues to exhibit good things in my life that I'm simply in awe with His greatness.


"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” John 13:34 This is something we always hear, sounds very simple yet a very difficult task. God doesn't simply command us to love our spouses, our family, friends and those who are easy to love; our heart does this on its own without a conscious effort. Instead, He wanted us to love the difficult people in our lives.


Yesterday's message was about "Christmas with Grace," extend love and friendship to the less lovable people that circle our lives. This is the most expensive gift we can give this Christmas; it'll cost us effort, time and pride. Nobody says it’s easy but it’s possible.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone!;)

Stars Fall Down

I gave up expecting to receive something on Christmas. So each time I receive a present it overwhelms me, especially if it something I really wanted to have.

My first two early presents were very pretty! The first one was given by Jerylle, a white gold Rositas ring I have been ogling and openly wishing to have and the second was a red Starbucks planner from OJ.

OJ, I really felt like a kid who got the toy she has been eyeing on in the mall. I was really overwhelmed with pleasure. Thank you so much for the planner, Amega!!!☺☺☺

...checking it twice

Jerylle and I always started our Christmas shopping early, usually before December. This year, for some reasons we kept on delaying the task, it became a tedious chore. We started shopping for gifts on the 1st of December. I’m just ecstatic that we’re almost complete shopping and the list is almost filled with check marks. I started wrapping the gifts today. I was compelled to since our room looks like a trash bin with shopping bags dumped on the foot of our bed.



I can’t feel the customary Christmassy feeling the Yule season brings. Am I the only one?

Party Pooper

Jerylle’s mind was deadest in perpetually spoiling our birthday surprises for him.

I bought him his birthday present three weeks before his birthday, before I had the opportunity to wrap the gift he found it hidden inconspicuously in my cabinet.

Last night, I asked Janice and Jessica to buy a birthday cake for Jep. He slept unreasonably late. He was very suspicious when his siblings went out. When he heard the car parked, a cue that his siblings were home from an errand. He insisted on going outside for a glass of water wearing a big smile on his face. I stopped him and begged him to just sleep. But despite my plea, he went out of the bedroom chuckling, he was up to something. Before Janice had the chance to hide the cake he already saw it!

He was back in the room laughing. I was infuriated. I slept and I just let Jessica and Janice greeted him with his birthday cake when the clock struck 12 midnight.

I refused to greet him with a cheery birthday chant.

I still have one last surprise for him today, I hope this time he won’t spoil it.

Got to run for his birthday dinner and movie date with the family.

Redundant

I'm exhilirated!

Jerylle bought me New Moon and Eclipse yesterday. And Janice got me Twilight on their stopover in Manila today. Jessica paid for the last book, Breaking Dawn. We've completed the book.

By the way, today was the soft opening of FULLYBOOKED in Ayala!

Let me start reading Eclipse now..

Tumbling na jud ko!!!!!



When you can live forever, what do you live for?

For Poxy and OJ

Oj and Poxy, your Edward...

Ogle hehehe

The Epidemic Continues

I’m on the second book now, most people say that New Moon is not as good as Twilight or even the next two books, but I'm a sucker for tragedy, at some point my life was torn from the pages of Bella's misery.


I just couldn’t bare it any longer, at the end of my shift my eyes hurt so bad that I couldn’t keep my fingers off them, persistently rubbing my right eye.

I don’t have to strain my eyes reading the Twilight series, Jerylle bought me New Moon and Eclipse; I’m touched beyond words. I’m more than ecstatic. At this moment, Jessica is reading Eclipse and I’ll be reading New Moon the moment I turn this thing off, this is what I call indulgence – reading a good book, curled up in the comfort of our bed.

Love, thanks for this very sweet gesture, I love you always.

Another Ending

"It's twilight," Edward murmured, looking at the western horizon, obscured as it was with clouds. His voice was thoughtful, as if his mind were somewhere far away. I stared at him as he gazed unseeingly out the windshield. I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine. "It's the safest time of day for us," he said, answering the unspoken question in my eyes. "The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way… the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" He smiled wistfully.

I'd never read a single book on a PDF file or what other fondly called as e-book in my entire computer-life experience, it held the faintest appeal to me. Reading has always been a luxury, an indulgence, something I always prefer to do in my most comfortable position, lying in bed.

Jerylle has always been fascinated with vampire myths. The magnetic force that lures me to read "Twilight" by Stephenie Meyer was my husband's fascination with the mythical figure. Since the actual book was not available in any bookstores we’d checked, I settled with the PDF file.
Something I've learned from reading book series in the past was to read the series' preview to get the gist and better understanding of the books, know what to expect and where the story is taking me. The more I learned about the books and the author, the more I itch to start reading.

You see, this book made me break my little rules about reading. I resisted the monitor's glare; constantly covering my eyes with both hands to play down the light hurting my eyes, a bargain I have to endure over the excitement the book engulfed me. I don’t have a good vision. I had to wear shades while reading the PDF file in between calls, unintentionally seeking amusing comments from my colleagues, to lessen the effect of the light distracting my eyes to focus on the file. In our shift, there's an epidemic deliberately stretching, the scent of Bella Swan and the image of the shining godlike-vampire Edward Cullen enchanting our imagination. Call is usually sparse in the afternoon, time for talking to kill time but the past days you can barely hear people talking, just soft giggles and sighs. Almost everyone was staring on their monitor reading "Twilight," engrossed in the fantastical world of the addictive love story of two young people.

It's the kind of book that'll make you feel good inside, reminds you of innocent pure love. It wasn't just the story itself that'll captivate you; it's how it makes you feel - inspired, lightheaded, in love, gigglish, girlish giddy, and well, in love for the most part. It's amazing how the author sucks you in, a lovely touch of fantasy. You simply can't get over it. It's fun to read, it mesmerizes you, hypnotically good, overwhelming you in a contrasting summery sunlit seeming eternity of night. Making you swoon for immortality, yearning for “forever”, something infinite, of endless love. The book strays from the traditional myth of the monstrous vampires to graceful, compassionate, gloriously beautiful godlike creatures.

The author went at length with description that you could almost see Edward's skin glimmered like diamond shards, Bella's flush and quickening pulse when she's with Edward, sometimes you could almost hear the rain falling on the roof.
We heard and read "I love you" too often but when you read it from this book your heart aches with sincerity and grasp the concept of love in its truest sense, love beyond measure.

Like it claims on the back cover blurb, “Twilight is an extraordinary love story which will stay with you long after you have turned the last page.”

Twilight, again," he murmured. "Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end."

My Little Kid

He’s a kid in most ways. He loves to watch cartoons, anime, reads manga (which I hate at times.) His eyes glint with joy in the mere sight of a toy that tickles his fancy and his face brightens with the possession of i, it excites him like a little kid. He's starting a new collection of Naruto figures.


And he wants to complete the Ferrari stainless key chain from Shell. (Pox, manawagan ko nimu ani ehehehe)

Follow Your Heart

I’ve read three of Andrew Matthews books, when I was in college. My bestfriend’s sister had a collection of Matthew’s books, every time I went to their house I read a few pages of the books. When I started working, I’ve always wanted to buy one but I never got the chance to.


Yesterday, Jerylle and I were in Ayala, right outside Watson’s there were shelves of books. We checked them out, what lured me was the collection of SVH, SVU and Sweet Dreams, sweet reminders of my teenage years. I spotted Andrew Matthew’s “Follow Your Heart,” I grabbed it instantaneously and checked the price. I was so sure I was going to buy it and when I checked the first page, guess who the previous owner was? It was boldly written “MELANIE T. LIM,” one of the greatest Cebuano columnists and my favorite at that.

Jerylle picked his book as well, “Rizal, Without the Overcoat,” an interesting book I read back in college. I’m not sure if we were required to read it, all I could remember was that I had a great time reading it. Jerylle wasn’t able to finish reading it since he just read few pages each time he visited National Bookstore when he was in college.

We are both excited with our picks.

A Centipede Bit Me

Last night, while we were sleeping soundly I was brought back to the conscious realm when I felt something was stinging in my body. I felt something sharp crawled on my skin. I thought it was a cockroach, which caused me to bolt up right with a chill on my spine! In the darkness of our room I saw an 8-10 inch snake-like creature crawling under our comforter! It was a horrible sight!

Jerylle was quick to turn light the light on and found a way to get it out of the room and killed it. I couldn't locate where exactly the stinging was, then few minutes later I found a small bump on the right side of my belly. The bite was really painful.

Growing up, I heard people say that centipede bites are venomous; it has always been the lethal concept. But I haven't heard of someone who died because of a centipede bite. Jerylle went into panic, he ran to the other room and asked Mama to check the centipede bite, and the bump was bigger then. Mama was calm to say that it wasn't poisonous. But Jerylle wanted to take me to the hospital. He called Janice to check on the skin bite area that was slowly inflaming. He checked it online and it wasn't indeed lethal. It took my husband almost an hour rubbing the inflamed area with an alcohol and betadine for the finishing touch.

For his peace of mind and Papa's insistence, I had it checked by the company doctor. The doctor said that there are more than 200 species of centipede, only five of them are poisonous. She prescribed an anti-inflammatory cream and pain reliever, which I'm sure I'll never bother to buy.

First Ray

The DST will end on Nov 2, with the DST lifting off our schedule will move an hour forward. My 6am schedule will now be 7am and so as Jerylle's. I'm quite please about the transition, at least we can sleep past 9pm with the 7am schedule.

What I love about the 6am schedule are the emptry streets, no bumper to bumper scenarios and no annoying honking of horns and the serene ride to the office. Most of all, I love the calming sight of the first ray of sun glinting through the towering buildings, I often close my eyes, breathing in this sweet brief splendid moment, whispering soft prayers to the heavens for this precious moment, lifting up my spirits.

Today is our last 6am shift. The saddest thing is that I'll miss the first ray of the sun and the warmth it gives to my soul.


Oh another sad thing, Papa might not be driving us to work with the new sched anymore.